I can do it!!!!!!!!!!

I have to brag on my little man. As parents we have all heard these words from our children. "I'll do it." "I can do it all by myself." You may, as I have, denied them the chance as you try and speed things up. "I can do it", is the usual reply. Hudson was with me in the tractor the other day and was insistent upon shutting the door after we got in all by himself. Finally I gave in. The door is pretty stiff and I thought he couldn't do it. What do I know. He tried at first to simply grab and pull as he observed me doing. He couldn't close it. Did he then feel sorry for himself and ask me to help or to close the door for him? No, observe.

As I observe this independent spirit in my kids I hear the words of Christ, "Unless ye become like little children...". I also have to wonder why does time kill this self-motivated will in us adults? Perhaps it's the uninhibited nature in children that makes this possible. They have yet to care or think about what happens if they fail. They have yet to learn to use their peers as a mirror for their own self worth. I really believe he just wanted to be more like dad.

As you read the Old Testament, you see the gradual shift from an independent and self-motivated desire to be free and judge yourself according to an inner standard that calls and leads us, to the desire to be ruled, protected, and cared for by our fellow man. In Genesis, Abraham is called by God to leave his country and his people to go as God leads. In Exodus, Moses leads a people out of captivity that constantly desire to go back for the security of food and shelter. In Judges the people did, "what was right in their own eyes", but still sought a ruler amongst their own, e.g. Gideon. He told them, "Let the Lord rule over you." After Judges you have 1 Samuel where Israel demands a king. God through Samuel tells them, "...he will take your sons and appoint them to himself...he will take a tenth of your sheep...you will cry out in that day because of the king you have chosen; and the Lord will not hear you in that day." Israel wanted to be, "...like all the nations," to have a king to judge them and "to fight our battles.

Don't misunderstand. We all need help. God removed many kings whose "hearts were lifted up." However there is a huge difference in wanting help and wanting someone to do the task at hand for us. Before we set out to do the impossible, we must remember God has created us for a purpose. After we have done the impossible we must remember that God has created us.

Ain't Skeeeered

The other day I was driving out to check on my calves when I began to ponder how well these particular heifers were calving out. For all of you with a non-ag background a heifer is a cow that has not had her first calf. When they are bred they are commonly called first calf heifers. Calving out heifers is not just a job. It's an adventure. To say the least they are high maintenance. Bred heifers make me feel like Homer Simpson when he finds a rare caterpillar in his backyard. The EPA forces him to care for it and one of its attributes is that it's sexually attracted to fire. I think that heifers are sexually attracted to stupid.

Anywho, let's get back on point. As I began to ponder how well this heifer experience was going I began to fear to have that thought too loudly. The superstition began to creep in. Christ talked of fear frequently. "...do not fear those who kill the body, but cannot kill the soul." "Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Fear not was a common preamble for Jesus. What made me fear being glad calving was going well? What a ridiculous fear to have. I was behaving as though the world was ran by an omnipresent boogie man whose only goal was to make life miserable for as many people as possible. The only problem is that Mr. Boogie is incredibly inept. He can only perceive life is good if you let the cat out of the bag. "So, you like when calving time is going well, ay? I'll fix that, ha ha ha ha ha!"

As I now began to ponder Mr. Boogie instead of calving I began to realize how mentally retarded I was to think this way. I began to see how fear can rob you of your joy. I began to realize why scripture addresses fear so much. I began to understand what FDR meant.

Now, I'm not a health and wealth guy. I do know bad times will come and bad things will happen. I also know that worrying about them won't stop them. "Which one of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" I know that I am secure in Christ. I am built upon the rock. The rain descended, floods came, and the wind blew on both houses. The difference was the foundation.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the LORD guards the city, the watchmen stay awake in vain." Psalm 127:1

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

The end of me

I sit here waiting for the inspiration to come. Will today be just another day? Right now I am wishing I had a great and profound idea to share with the world. I am trying to think of some wisdom to share or some great truth God has revealed through me, but I am coming up short. God says that he loves those with a humble and contrite spirit. Perhaps that is the reason for my block. Perhaps God needs to empty me right now of myself so I can see who I am without ideas given by Him. What will I fill my vessel with today? Will I seek to make myself an enemy of God by desiring the friendship of the world? Will I be wise enough to see and to trust Him to work through me in the ordinary of today? What kind of father will I be today? What kind of husband will I be today? What kind of friend and servant will I be today? Will I waste today on me alone?

I am empty right now, but am confident I am set apart for a purpose and confident that God will work that purpose out in me today even though I can't feel or see that purpose at this moment. I know that my life is bigger than this moment as I anticipate what God will use me for today.