Nothing to draw with

If you've never read My utmost for His highest by Oswald Chambers I highly recommend it. The book was given to me by my pastor, David Moore, when I graduated from high school. The daily devotional pretty much collected dust for the first ten years I had it. It had always been too convicting for me. For the last three years I have come to the end of me and decided to pick it back up again. I can't believe what a fool I was. I'm amazed on how we think we can fool God by hiding from our convictions. I guess for years I thought I could turn off God like a radio sermon or put him on a shelf like I did with this book.

Chambers amazes me on how he gleans so much from such as half a sentence of scripture. Today's entry is no exception. He says it better than I can so..."misgivings about Jesus start from the amused questions put to us when we talk of our transactions with God - Where are you going to get your money from? How are you going to be looked after? Or they start from ourselves when we tell Jesus that our case is a bit too hard for Him. It is all very well to say "Trust in the Lord," but a man must live, and Jesus has nothing to draw with - nothing whereby to give us these things.

Recently I am rereading Rebel with a cause. It's Franklin Graham's autobiography. When I was twenty something, Joni Qualls, a woman who went to church with my mom gave me this book. She said God told her to. She said she was walking on her treadmill when God spoke. I figured God really spoke or it was a low blood sugar level. I'll go with God.

I read the book. I wasn't a big reader. I think at this point in my life I had read about three books. That doesn't count all the jacket summaries I read in high school for book reports. (How did the English teacher know?) Anywho, nothing jumped out of me at the time.

Recently I've been obsessed with Islam. I'm driving my wife crazy with the documentaries I make her watch. I'm in the process of reading the Koran with a blog commentary. Recently in my search for all things Islam I came across The devil came on horseback. It's about retired marine captain Brian Steidle that became an unarmed military observer of the cease fire in Sudan. I know as Americans we are bombarded with so many save Africa campaigns that we have become numb. However, Steidle's pictures spoke to me. That lead me to pick up Rebel with a cause again. Franklin speaks of an idea called Godroom. He learned from a man named Bob Pierce. Bob taught him that God will only work when we have reached the limit of our capabilities. He says that if he senses that God has showed him a need that needs to be met, he has to step out in faith and allow God room to work. Chambers really speaks to that point today. I'm not sure where God is calling me. My wife and I have talked about traveling the world. We both agree that we can't use missions work as an excuse to fulfill our geographic fantasies. That wouldn't work. However as I watched Steidle's documentary I couldn't help but have the desire to pick up my rifle and my bible and head to Sudan. One point in the documentary really moved me. Brian and his sister were talking with an older gray headed gentleman who looked like he was 70, but probably around 50. He was crying as he thanked Brian for what America has done to help. "You are the only ones who come, " he said. "We are muslim and no muslim country ever comes to help." His gratitude is what makes me want to help. Of the many sins listed in the bible, ungratefulness is listed right along with adultery and drunkenness. I believe that is our biggest sin in America. God has blessed us and we have forgotten to thank Him. I'm so sick and tired of America being portrayed as the bully. Yes, we aren't perfect, but I still believe we are a light on the hill for the world. If you don't believe me just wait. The day is coming when America will be no more. Hindsight will truly be 20/20.

Whether we are forced to go oversees because of discord here or if we simply hear the call I don't know. God has blessed me and my family immensely. I don't believe God blesses us with seed so we can store it. We are to spread it out and tend to it and watch it grow. God has blessed us here in America like no other nation in history. Hopefully we will scatter the seed before he scatters us.