
I have some helpful advice for all my fellows in the guild of lazy gardeners. Are you troubled by grass and weeds? Does the mere thought of travailing under the July sun with hoe in hand make you weak kneed? Is the beckoning call of the couch, an air-conditioned house, and watching Die Hard 2 for the twenty-fifth time too much to overcome? Fear not! A great truth has been revealed unto me. Let the grass grow. Let the shade of the weeds shelter thine onions. What's that you say? You canst not find thine onions amidst the weeds. Thine carrot tops have been vanquished? Fear not! The grass will brown and the weeds will stop. Runnest thou the mower over thine crop and wait, and fear not. Spring will come after the snow, and lo, there appearest thine onions and carrots, preserved in the ground where the frost toucheth them not. Dig then my hearty fellow! Dig not as the fool who labours forth in the summer heat, but dig now after being well rested for the summer, fall, winter, and the early spring, and enjoy thy bountiful crop of soggy onions!
then worketh thine jaws over the tough and gamey onions and thinketh, why doth I (thee? thou?) liveth in Kansas??
ReplyDeleteVanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
ReplyDeleteDude....
ReplyDelete